Continuer

If any French verb is going to be the easiest to remember then this is it. The verb is CONTINUER, and if you can't guess what it means then there may be problems ahead.

It's actually hard to come up with a memory technique for this one because it's so easy but here we go,

You know those annoying charity workers that seem to line the sides of any street, shaking pots and trying to get you to sign  up to give away a 5er a month.

Now imagine your'e walking down that street again but you feel different. You don't know why and as you slowly raise your head and open your eyes you have seen that these charity workers are trying to CON you! More than that, they have turned into TINS. They are CONTINS!!

That's right. Your street is now littered with rusty tins donning  classic black and white burglar outfits trying to con you out of your money. One stops you, and in a rusty voice says, "only 2 minutes please." But you shrug him off and continue on.

Another. No thanks. On you go.

Then they begin to come 2 by 2, 3 by 3, until you are pushing your way through an entire horde of tins. Their jagged edges cutting your skin, but you persevere through. You feel scared and hurt and these obvious criminals are trying to rip you off.

But you continue through these contins. These tins trying to con you. YOU CONTINUE!! THE WORD OF THE DAY IS CONTINUE!!!!!!

Appeler

Right, this here is Appeler. Unless you're a cave dwelling loser you're gonna need this to talk about calling, because in it's infinitive this means: TO CALL

Important because it's likely you're gonna have to arrange something at some point in your life when you take that trip to Paris or Lyon on The Alps (if your rich).

So here's how you're gonna remember it, and remember you need to work up your senses and really think about what I'm about to right for you.

So imagine that for some unknown reason you're at a play (get it, Appeler!!) It's a famous one, Romeo and Juliet to be exact, with all the world star cast from the shitty movie remake. Oh shit it's starting.

Leonardo DiCaprio walks on stage to recite the famous opening in lines.

"In fair Vero..."

Holy shit, don't panic. There's a giant bulge in your pocket and it's fucking vibrating and ringing. Everyone is looking at you and your panicking, you can taste the salty sweat dripping into your mouth.

Leo is staring you straight in the eyes and you frantically pull out this bulge, it's a fucking apple phone (APPELER!!) you're confused but you manage to cancel the call.

Leo coughs and begins again, "in...". Your giant apple phone is growing bigger and ringing louder with every phone call. This happens a few times, each time growing bigger and louder.

Everyone is tutting at you now and Leo is not happy. He brings on the whole cast includig the sexy woman and they start pelting you with apples. Right in the face. You cover your face and run out, the whole time being pelted by giant fat apples.

You get outside to take a breath and your fucking fat apple phone rings again really loud waking up pretty much the whole country. You open it again and you have a message.

NAME: LEO DICAPRIO

MESSAGE: HAHA totally owned U.

Acheter

ACHETER

(To Buy)

This verb is motherfucking ACHETER and it means TO BUY in it's infinitve form. Do you under-fucking-stand!?

How many times have you bought something? EXACTLY! That's how god damn important this verb is. It's so important I am going to tell you how to remember it (like I will with all the verbs). Before I start I'll say it's expected you have a simple understanding of verb conjugation. Hell if you don't keep reading because it will do no harm to remember everything you will learn from this blog.

Are you a smoker! No? Good. You know how much that costs in ASHTRAYS!! Yeah, I know you see what I did there.

I want you to close your eyes and imagine going to the shop for milk. But you walk in and the wretched smell of stale smoke flies up your nostrils. You try to open your eyes to make your way to the milk but the smoke stings. And you have to feel your way across, but all you can feel is the solid cold outline of a million fucking ASHTRAYS. You bump in to what feels like a person and say, "where can I find the milk?". He knows!

You both make your way through the smog and voila, you're at the fridge. He places it in your hand and you get to the counter to pay. The smoke clears. You place it on the counter only to see it's a god damn ashtray. A heavy ass ashtray. You resign yourself to this and pull out your money only to find it's now a handfull of ashtrays the size of a few pennies. You look at the cashier who is now a human sized ashtray. He says... ashtray.

There's your first bloody lesson.

Out of character note: You really do have to imagine all these things with all your will. The more outrageous and the more they affect the senses the easier they will stay in your head.